words about nothing?!

take a ride

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 14:18:14 GMT

whats up? long time no update...uhhh skools out and has been for a week.i graduated last week which was pretty kool. i am now a college student hehe. uhh gradutation nigh twas funn partied with some kool ppl. my grandparents were here last week that was funn too.

i started dating phil a month or so ago. we are doing ok i guess. idk it seems like th ings are changing and idk if its me or him or what. we used to spend more time together and more time alone together. we used to talk more he used to call more. idk i think we r going down hill but i dun want to break up i really like him so this is just kinda killing me. he used to be sweeter he used to tellme he liked me more often so idk whats up but thats been on my mind for awhile. we almost broke up a few weeks ago cuz of a buncha stuff but then last week he sed were fine? so idk im just confused and i really wanna talkto him.

i had a lotta funn last night. i went to the carnival with a buncha ppl n then to mc donalds and starbucks ! good times. i was soo hyper! omg i cut my nose on my straw haha cuz i was laughin outta control it was nuts oh mann crazy times. n then at the carnival theres this lil woman i went to see her it was soo funny! oh mann i almost died. shes soo tiny so all night we were joking abt her and it was just funny.

ughh i have so much on my mind cuz of phil i really wanna talkto him! relationships are funny in the beginnning everyone is happy and wants to see each other all the time and then they always die out. like perfume or a candle idk. its frustrating to keep going and i want to keep going but i wonder if he does. but then again im sick of stressing about this so then sometimes i wonder how i'd be without him idk too much on my mind right now thats why im writing in this thing. ehh idk what to say!

vanessa left for skool last sat. didn't even really say goodbye i was pretty mad abt that idk i was her best friend or used to be and she couldn't even say good bye? ppl are so weird! well im gg cuz i dun feel like writing n e more...peace out!

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 05:15:14 GMT

so i haven't updated in like forever but im bored n kinda in the mood to so here goes nothin.
so i graduate in like 52 days or sumthin which is crazy! im kinda havin mixed feelingsim happy but im soo sad too. idk its gonna be a weird day. i can't even imagine what its gonna be like n im kinda lookin forward to it kinda not...

i am excited abt college too tho but i kinda have the same mixed feeling. but it will be nice to be free.

i was on spring break last week that was alright i missed home n my friends way too much. im so used to seein zach n everyone everyday it was just weird not bein with them all the time. i was gettin kinda bored n sick of the heat...i dun really like fla. n e more. i also came home sick i had a fever all day sat. n im still caughin! gah

idk why but im like really emo right now like all day at skool n stuff i was fine then i was at zachs n we were all dancin but it was un even n i got like not in the mood n e more. idk nwhat it was i still dun feel myself but oh well. i will get over it...i hate bein emo but sometimes i can't help it i have a lot on my mind

we did rent projects this week it was sadd :( mine wasn't t ho not really idk i have such issues ppl just take over me n i have no control n its not good mine was abt a certain person n im not sayin n e more abt it idk too many issues with this one person to even begin so it was hard to write it or start to

its super late n i should go to bed i have to go to the library tomorrow n study for my ap exam which is monday... ahhh! well byee nice catchin up?

bleh sick

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 20:29:59 GMT

hello hello...im sick! i stayed home today i think i've been sick for like a week i dunno it comes n goes why am i always sick? its weird...no one else in my family ever gets this sick...! wack! so i didn't go to skool today. im gettin the hang of not goin to skool when im sick i used to go no matter what but now i dun care...its not worth it i'll go to skool n be grumpy n complain n piss everyone off so i minas well stay home. well last night i didn't even set my alarm cuz i knew i didn't wanna go to skool, so yeaa i slept till like 12 today i was really tired n just not feeling well at all. i worked last night n i felt soo sick at work i was freezing! n my stomache hurt n i didn't wanna eat dinner...so yeaa i came home showered n went to bed. i think i had a fever last night too but im not sure cuz my mom packed the thermometer! wack!

so i've just been sittin around im in my Pjs...i feel weak..idk my mom sed i should excercise more she doesn't think i move around enough im actually really hot now...mayb i do have a fever or do u get chills with a fever? idk..i dun like missin skool i always feel like im missing out on something but i guess nothin that interesting happens...

my mom asked if i was depressed haha she thinks thats why im sick all the time? idk actually i mean im guessin no but if ur depressed i dun think u kno if u r? idk i dun think i am i can't see myself bein depressed i mean i get sad from time to time but so does everyone...its weird tho cuz i dun think ppl kno how i feel sometimes except for prolly katharine cuz she knows everything yepp...what would i do without that chick? i love her soo much! but no im not depressed i still like the things i've always liked my friends make me happy n i have good life n look forward to things so i think im fine...just sick

i will have to try the excercise thing i guess...? could work i dun walk as much since i got my car so i could use the excercise i suppose...well im gg my wrist hurts i dunno why? ok byee

hello hello

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 19:48:04 GMT

hello again seems like i write in this thingy once a week...oh well i enjoy it. so i think im doin a little better i mean i wish things were better with some people who i will not mention oh well he'll have to get it sooner or later i think im gettin as much as i can from him tho so whatever...

thanksgiving was good my gram was here n my uncle so it was nice...good turkey. can't believe x-mas is comin up next geez...crazy! i move in like a month almost im lookin forward to it now kinda cuz its gonna be brand new so should be pretty sweet!

my gram left yesterday...n then last night i went to the movies with vanessa i saw rent. i cried it was soo good but V didn't like it that much she sed she didn't understand it...its just abt ppl so i dun quite get what she didn't get but yeaa...i got the soundtrack n i think im goin to see the show next semester with multi culturual issues so im lookin forward to it now... it made u think abt life and what not i liked it a lot...it was also nice to just hang with vanessa its never just me n her...we went to starbucks after it was nice

very nice weekend spent a lotta time with family n what not...well im kinda hungry and i have a movie to watch...christmas with the kranks hehe! ok soo ttyl ! byee

why life sucks

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 02:53:20 GMT

yeaa so this is gonna be one emo entry just to worn u all! i kno i say that in like every entry i dunno why i also write sad things in this thing...mayb its cuz i use it as an outlet? i dunno things r wack.

so this weekend i was home alone n saturday mornin i was supposed to work friday night i went to zachs n hung with sean n kat n megan and then of course zach. n meg wanted me to sleep over n i figured why not i mean im not doin n e th ing bad whatever so i did n i was just gonna go from there to work so megan set her alarm for 7 n we went to bed at like 1 mayb so yeaa not bad at all. i ended up getting sick i threw up when i woke up so i called outta work cuz i didn't feel good so then megan n mrs. robinson were taking care of me...making me tea and covering me with blankets haha megan is soo sweet she always takes good care of me when im sick. it was like bein at my own house n sick so i liked it, it was better than being alone n sick. so i called my mom that mornin left a message sayin where i was so i wasn't lying. my parents hate when i lie so i told the truth. my mom called at like 3 mayb n i was kinda sleepim n i told her what i did n shes like ur not supposed to do that n blah blah blah its soo annoyin n why r u friends with megan shes younger than u what do u have in common n all that shit. my mom i love her but she can be soo dumb. age n friendship do not go together all that much. i mean megan is in highschool its not like im best friends with a 4th grader. i mean geez get a life. i mean the house looks fine the dog is fine n i feel better so shouldn't that just matter? i mean im goin to college in like how many months? n i think its time to loosen up n get over it.

i like hangin out with megan n she needs to deal. she claims she cares abt everyone n blah blah blah but shes soo judgemental its annoyin. i mean how many ppl did she hang with when she was my age? i think she might think we r all too close or sumthin...i dunno she doesn't understand friendship at all and its annoyin her n my dad r always talkin abt our friends n blah blah blah...soo annoying! they r making me want to go to college faster so i can finally be FREE!!!! cuz i can't take it anymore. i mean im not doin drugs or gettin drunk or having sex. im just talkin n playin little kid games with my friends is that a crime no? if i were my own parent i'd be proud that my kid never got in any trouble like that...or had any of those bad habits like drinking, and that she had a nice group of friends. oh well enough sed abt that..i dunno if im in trouble or not if i am oh well screw them they can only ground me for so much longer. i think they r adding to my anxiety i think thats part of the reason im sick all the time is i worry too much and i worry because of them its annoyin i have to lie abt shit that i dun wanna lie abt just cuz they r dumb its soo annoyin! i mean if i wanna hang with megan i almost have to lie to like hang with her for the day...its soo wack!

i love my friends to death they r like my life, and i only have so many more months left with them so im trying to spend as much time with them as i can. these are my fun years in life and thats what im doing having fun my parents need to get a life. they r just stressing me out over dumb things and making me kinda sad in a way n its annoyin n not good.

so other than all that my weekend was fun i dunno i feel kinda depressed abt nothing? i dunno its weird like i feel alone in a way i dunno i can't explain it. i dun really talk to chris n e more which is really weird i used to talk to him every night n now we never talk...i wonder whats goin on with him. zach has been really odd lately too like quiet n stuff i dunno whats up with him but when hes like that it makes me like that i dunno...i wish ppl were nicer i think im a fairly nice person and i treat my friends good n sometimes i wish certain friends would treat me better i dunno i guess im stressin over that or havin anxiety over it i dunno? mayb i should talk to someone abt it cuz it could be the cause of my stomache aches...? idk

well i wrote a lotta shit so im gg...ttyl byee

u can't say what u wanna...

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 03:16:44 GMT

hello hello...wut is up? sike..ok so im writing again i haven't writtin in a lil while so i figure why not i got some things on my mind. so im feeling very blah i dunno i can't explain it...like not sad but not happy. im kinda sick of life. n stuff. college crap is annoyin. im sick of workin all the time i love volunteerin but i wish i could do it more. idunno life just bites...yeaa i kno soo emo whatever

i feel like my friends r treatin me like crap n i dunno why not that they are its just how i feel ya kno? especially this one friend i mean hes really nice to me n all n i love him to death but idk we have our moments where we won't talk n i kno im one of his best friends n blah blah blah but sometimes i feel like werenot that close idk why. its complicated with him tho i think i love him too much or care too much. altho guys r weird at showing how they feel so i kno he feels the same way i dunno just wish some thinsg were diff. sometimes? like sometimes i'll look forwrad to seeing h im all day cuz i only see him about once a day n we won't even end up talkin which is soo wack n sometimes i honestly have nothing to say to him which is also wack..i mean we r best friends n sometimes have absolutly nothin to say to each other...oh well i guess thats life i wish he would do or say sumthin that showed he cared tho i dunno im soo sick of like worrying or not really worrying but like thinking abt this n him its annoying. i need to move on with life. altho i learned in psych that when i worry abt people n blah blah blah it shows u care...so i guess i just care too much. idk seems like i lose a lotta sleep over him which is also wack..mmmhmmm

well i have to go to bed i will continue this later r not whatever who cares ne ways? g'night all

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 01:58:57 GMT

hello!!!!!! hahahah it seems like im always writing in here its nuts. so i think im beginning to get over chirs not that i would never like go for him or whatever if he was single but im gettin over the whole issue with him n its not as frustrating im concentrating on other things...like he who shall not be named. so i tell this he that i like him well he kinda guessed but yeaa guess i was too obvious and i was like well what do u wanna do with this n he basically sed hes afriad to do ne thing he does kinda like this other grl but i heard she likes someone else but i dunno...he thinks im more experiences than him? which i may be a bit more but not really...the relationships i've been in have sucked i mean adrian was like 7th grade n its like gya going out ya kno hugs n the halls crap...norman was kinda the same just a lotta talkin on the phone n writing notes to each other and zach was prolly the closest i had to a decent relationship except we only hung out twice n we only hung out when i made plans n yeaa so altho i consider it decent it kinda sucked too so the whole real relationship is kinda new to me

im very fascinated with the whole idea of love and relationships tho im actually reading a book on love and why we choose the people we do...i think its really kool...im soo annoyed with ppl tho it seems like im always saying that but like im ready for someone i want a relationship not nessesarily a really serious one but a relationship like where u go out on dates and all that n just hang out n be together n it seems like no one i like is ever ready for that n its soo frustrating. i mean its weird i think its most peoples purpose in life to find someone so how r u ever gonna find them if u dun even try to go out with one person n if they aren't right for u then oh well move on...i dunno am i crazy or sumthin?! i mean whats wrong with ppl these days...they r all like afriad to move on with life or sumthin....its soo gay! in the sense that its dumb...

surely i cannot be the only one who feels this way...i mean c'mon there are millions of ppl out there that just wanna find someone...and im only in highskool i just wanna have fun im not lookin for freakin marriage or sumthin geez

so then i start to think well maybe its the guys that im liking seeing as i always go for the same type so mayb if i went for someone else then it'd be better more mature but i can't really i mean other guys have liked me where i can see they aren't my type but i never go for them ever! n i dunno why i guess the problem could be me...maybe i should try to go for different types of people? i dunno n then theres this guy at work not chris who is older and pretty sweet n i think he liked me once but im not sure but he found out how old i was n was like nvm i think hes 21 so 5 yrs older than me i wish i could like him but noo thats too old well for now atleast now

thats another thing age only seems to matter in skool i think once u get to college or outta college age wouldn't matter if i met this guy on the street n we hit it off i think we'd move into something...skool just makes everyone seem younger....weird how things are in this world

well i wrote a lot...hopefully someone will read it and maybe benefit from it? i dunno if people think abt what i write...i write a lot tho so i understand if ppl dun read it but i think its interesting i should make a book! ha ha ok well im out byee!

blah

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 02:14:57 GMT

im soo sick of life...n skool mostly skool i have like one hard class ap geo n its not hard just a lot of work n its very terdious? n yeaa i dunno like i like taking a challenging class but it gets annoyin cuz everythig is due the same day n we have like a month to do everything n its just annoyin. plus i work like 4 days a week till 9 this pharmacist was supposed to get fired n he didn't but hes not that bad now i can actually talk to him abt stuff he just procrastinates a lot! its soo annoyin but yeaa what can u do ?! mmhmm

well i had a fun weekend we had 4 days off i worked 2 of those days i think...i went hiking with sean n jake n my sis n then i was at zachs a lot this weekend eating dinner n playin frisbee ha ha...i went apple picking yesterday! with sean n my sis soo fun! he he umm then we made pie at my house n then zach wanted to make dinner so we did even tho he didn't make n e thing? weirdo sean mad really good potatoes tho! mmmm he he

then it was backto skool today!mmhmmmm thats abt it for whats goin on...im soo tired skool n work ware me out! i can't stand it then i have to volunteer tomorrow i just wanna sit back n enjoy life i mean im like 17 geez but no i have to work n blah blah blah...sucks to be me

i've been talkin to chirs a lot lately abt random stuff...lets just say our situation frusrates me! cuz theres nothin i can do i have no control he has a gf n mayb if he didn't things would be different kat sed ishould have a real talk with him in person but i dun think i have much left to say i mean he knows how i feel. hes one of my best friends so i tell him pretty much everything. i dunno i dun wanna say i hate life cuz that makes me sound emo or whatever but i just wish it was better? i have the worst luck with guys atleast...i always find like the perfect one for me n it can never work out n usually its not me tho so i guess thats a good part of it? i dunno...im tryin to look at it on a lighter note realizing that i should be glad i have him as a good friend and blah blah blah but i dunno i like him a lot...i just look at him and can't help it! its annoying in a way cuz its not helpin n e one for me to like him cuz he has a gf n then it makes him feel bad cuz he knows in a way hes hurting me or causing me stress or whatever so the whole situation is annoyin so i try not to think abt it...the other day he asked what can we do to fix it? n there nothin to do! thats why im soo frustrated n STUCK...cuz there is nothin we can do i mean im not gonna stop talkin to him cuz if anything that would make it worse i love talkin to him n he makes life interesting i dunno hes always there to listen n i need that in my life i mean i have ppl that listen but it seems like hes actually interested in what im sayin...soo yeaa

also vanessa has been buggin me lately i think shes mad ihang with zach all the time but oh well shes hard to talk to which is why im glad i have ppl like chris that listen n what not but i miss havin her as a friend we always had fun together n we still do but not as much i think shes changed a lot since phil! n its annoyin cuz i hate when i lose ppl over boyfriends its a dumb way to lose a friend and i've lost many over that...life is soo obnoxious haha

yeaa sorry if i sound depressed i actually wish i could like go talk to someone like a therapist or whatever i think everyone should go for the fun of it...i mean to have someone evaluate u and what not and see whats in ur unconscious is pretty kool! i dunno how to like tell someone i wanna go tho haha mayb wheni go to college or sumthin i dunno i have alot on my mind n i think that could help mayb? but im not crazy i dun think...? hmmm

well im gg now cuz i wrote a lot i kno ppl read this now...apparently many read my last one? ok well off i go g'night! much love!

im free like a bird ha ha werd sike

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 01:48:52 GMT

woo hoo guess whose back? back again? ha ha just playin ha ha that was GAY like ur mom jk...damn im like drugged or sumthin so yeaa im ungrounded kids!its great to be back! n free he he so last night was funn...i had senior fest, then i went to zachs then i had the game n i met zachs friend liz shes really kool we r gonna make snow horses he he...n chris came to chill with us too as always i like hangin with chris n we left the game at half time cuz we suck as a team! n we went to mc donalds n then to hatters park? to just sitn talk ohh yeaa ashley came with us too

so i was talkin to jake earlier abt life n love ha ha...its weird how mature we both are on the topic of love he was talkin abt meg n i was talkin abt how i love zach n i kno i do cuz no matter what he says or how he acts or looks i look at him the same to me thats love i dunnop its hard to explain exactly how i feel. i actually told zach this the other night i think i care too much tho n i think hes still too immature to totally get what i mean but i think he kinda gets it? or i'd like to think he does what pisses me off if ppl that make fun of me for hangin out with him like ppl dun get it n i hate ignorant ppl! like vanessa shes always buggin me abt him n like yeaa sure she loves phil but i dun think she understands my relationship with zach n i kno i sound dumb but its how i feel. right now my cloest friends r kat, zach, sean n jake kat gets what im talkin abt i think....jake n i are like exactly thinking the same which is weird he thinks we'd make good counslors which is actually what i wanna do soo yeaa i think i am too mature for some guys in some aspects like yeaa sure i act dumb n stuff but when it comes down to what i want outta a relationship its sumthin mature i want someone to love me like i love them n i want us both to be ourselves around each other...n i dunno if im ever gonna find that which is kinda scary i guess anotherthing is i put up with a lot of crap like with zach that coulda ended so much faster than it did but i just put up with everything n i need to start taking more of a stand i think...

whats dumbis what im asking for in a relationship isnt much i think its what any nomral relationship needs i wanna see the person like besides in skool i think we can both have our own friends n lives but still hang out frequesntly i dunsee whats so hard with this? n if ur excuse is u don't wanna get hurt oh well GET OVER IT! EVERYONE gets hurt ok everyone its life u get hurt then u get over it hopefully...i mean what the fuck if u dun wanna get hurt then why live u think people wanna get hurt? its not intentional its supposed to happen its LIFE good grief n i understand that u dun wanna get hurt but that doesn't mean u hold back i think that prolly causes more pain cuz then ur not bein urself...? am i right cuz i think im right? wow im all like worked up now but c'mon think abt it...if ur holdin back ur not bein who u r so eventually in the end u r hurting urself...wow i think im too smart for this n its not even hard to undertsand geez...well now i sound cocky but still

this could be why its hard for me to find someone cuz of the way i think? except im sure jake would agree with me on this stuff...but yeaa i wrote a lot and its a lot for u people to think abt it if u read this i dunno....u should read it tho cuz im sure u will learn sumthin? ok well im out ttyl byee!

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 02:05:58 GMT

wudd up kids...sike yeaa ummm so lets see im breakin the rules bitch sike but yeaa not supposed to be online at all n i am oh well im bad kill me? yeaa my family went to vermont without me...cuz i have to work woo hoo work no im not having n e one over cuz i dun wanna die! n my neighbor is watchin me? which is weird...i hope i dun get caught for bein online i dunno how i could? unless my dad has like cameras which would be extremly odd n i think i'd move out! but yeaa oh well some internet isn't gonna kill me i have three more weeks without it i really dun miss it that much i mean myspace i can check at skool...AIM i sorta miss but i never really talk to ne one it just sucks cuz some ppl i never call n now i have to in order to talk to them cuz i can't go online n talk to em' yeaa but one more week of bein grounded! then i can have one person over which is gay but i coulda got grounded a lot worse so whatever im not complainin...

so skool started woo hoo sike actually its not that bad...i have no classes its weird my only real classes r AP geo n english then i have speach arts, culinary n psych which i love i love all my classes they r pretty awsome! so finally i have the perfect sched.n i dun have to make n e changes n i see all my good friends so its all good. i dun really see zach much but i see him after skool so whatever...i have 3 things with vanessa katie is in my lunch, hersh in my lunch n ap geo its really good i see kat three times i think

i just got the coolest project for ap geo i kno that sounds weird a kool project but this one is we get to go around danbury n take pics ha ha n we have a group...so it should be fun! i think i dunno only thing is gas prices kinda suck now i heard it might get up to 4 tomorrow! soo yea no joy rides i guess ha ha

so i guess since skool started life has been better...i haven't been as sad cuz im not surrounded by the couples ha ha but yeaa it'd be nice ot have someone but then again i dunno if i have time with volunteering n workin n skool oh well we'll see i guess.

so last night zach forgave katie i think...i dunno she wants us all to confess to doin something i think i dunno i dun really get it i mean i do but to me all of us have nothin to do with it cuz we r all getting along its those two that don't....and its those two that did something so yeaa we might've been factors in it but in the end its all matters in my mind cuz hes not mad at us n i dun think he even cares abt her i dunno i dun wanna put words in his mouth personally in my opionion this is how i feel: when they r friends i end up feeling like shit cuz they kinda come together n then i just feel left out n crap not that that has n e thing to do with the whole situation but thats how i feel i guess i should tell her but whatever we'll see another thing i hate is i always get involved obviously cuz im zachs best friend n katies good friend so yeaa but i end up thinkin abt everything n losing sleep over it n i dunno i think i involve/care too much abt ppl....? hard to explain i've always felt like i cared more with ppl then they care abt me....mayb thats why i get involved so much cuz i want them to care abt me or i feel like it makes me feel like they care if that makes sense? i dunno im kinda rambling on...but yeaa

well i wrote a lot and no one is gonna read this cuz i dun think n e one really cares...soo ok good byee!

BLAH

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 15:53:06 GMT

yeaa sooo im feeling very blah today sorry if all my entries r like depressing now...im just not in a good mood like ever lately. its been an interesting week. im not gonna go into details but yeaa lets just say i've shocked some ppl.

this weekend my rents went away n were not supposed to have ppl over but we did. like 6 ppl mayb n apparently my neighbor was watchin us? soo yeaa he called my dad n told him n my dad called me sed were busted (me n my sis) soo whenever they get home im dead! prolly grounded for a long time...like forever ha ha sike but yeaa definatly won't be going n e where for a long time i hope they dun take away my car! cuz that would suck i have to go to skool n work. thats another thing thank god skool is starting! cuz then i'd be grounded during the summer which would really suck...grr i hate being in trouble this is adding to the stress of my life right now

i was really sick yesterday like in the mornin i dunno what was wrong with me i think i had too much on my mind from the day before i often feel sick when i have a lot on my mind it sucked! but then i eventually got up n showered n felt better...ughh i can't believe im caught! i wonder what they r gonna do to me....that sucks thinking of what they are gonna do to me....! hopefully its not that bad i dunno im like freakin out here plus i have other shit on my mind

guys suck thats all i got to say...they r dumb like really really dumb! n im in a really bad situation i really like this guy n have for a very long time n he has a gf n has had her for a very long time n he has no idea i like him i dun think but he gives some mixed signals which r weird...n i really like him! n hes kinda the only one i like/want right now...and now all my friends have hooked up with each other its like my worst nightmare n they r all like ha ha u have no one...but like what can i do? im not gonna go out with someone just for the hell of it...but skool is startin soon mayb i will get over him soon i hope n find someone availible? i dunno right now things just keep on sucking! there are other reasons too but im not gonna write em' in here cuz i dun really want ppl to kno yeaa sorry...i've only talked abt it with like 2 ppl n soo yeaa i dun want ppl to kno its gay n will mess things up...

well the weather sucks today too damn it fits how i feel...hmmm weird when weather does that its a shitty day all over! well my day isn't that shitty yet cuz my parents aren't home yet...but yeaa its gonna be a shitty day i can tell!

ughh i should be happy for all these ppl in their new relationships cuz i'd want them to be happy for me n i am but its kinda making me depressed cuz now whenever we hang out its gonna b all of them n then me...all by myself not to sound emo...but now i will be all by myself its kinda like they r all rubbing it in now too freakin losers...n they all day i'd do the same if i got the guy i wanted but well duh cuz i've like him forever i mean half these ppl just started liking the ppl they r with n its just luck that they got them...i mean don't get me wrong i am happy for them but its kinda annoying at the same time i dunno i dun wanna sound mean n heartless cuz they r all my good friends n im happy for them but i wish i could be happy for myself? i dunno.....

well im gg because i wrote a lotta shit n no ones gonna read it...soo good bye hopefully im not dead for too long!

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 15:46:23 GMT

hello, im bored so im updating...guess its been a few weeks! i dunno...so summer is coming to an end! which sucks...but gotta go back to skool sometime...i work like everyday this week which also sucks.

yea i've been in a weird mood lately i dunno i just get in this mood where i dun care abt much or like im sad but i have nothin to be sad abt its weird...i dunno

so marthas vineyard was funn kat came which was good cuz we needed to spend some time together n we definatly did ha ha...we basically just went to the beach everyday n got ice cream every night good ice cream! yeaa i love it there but i was soo happy to come home i missed all my friends n what not. cuz i got home on sunday i un packed then went to zachs/megans n then sean came over n we ate dinner there n made a corny movie

i went out with chirs last week that was funn...we went to the mall then pizza hut kinda random but i like hangin out with him hes a fun person i dunno we always find sumthin to talk abt which is good im glad im friends with him

well i dunno what else to say as i sed im in a weird mood so i will ttyl byee

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 14:07:28 GMT

hello hello...i got home from myrtle beach on saturday night. it was a nice trip i guess its just really hot there n everything was soo chaotic with my whole family but it was nice all of us gettin together. the only bad thing is i got sick on the last day i was in bed the whole day! it sucked a lot! but im better now i think i just got a stomache bug or sick from the heat or sumthin i dunno...

so then sunday mornin i had to work i worked from 10-3 then i went from work to the movies with jake n ali then we went to dinner then i finally came home around 8 00 only to leave again for seans house to play man hunt with him zach n megan...

monday was really funn...i went to seans around 12 n we went to visit his mom in the hospital then zach n megan came over we ordered pizza washed my car hung out then we played zombie at dhs then megan convinced my mom to let me sleep over so we had a camp out in there backyard with sean n zach n kolton n my sis it was funn except for when the cops came ha ha never again...but yeaa good times

yesterday i went to bethel to meet zachs gf tina shes nice they seem happy...then me n sean left n went to the hospital to visit his mom again...then we went back to his house then i went home then we met up at dhs to play man hunt/zombie which was funn

ohh yeaa chirs called! he he see i talked to him online the other day hes ona cruise and he sed he'd call today and it was like 11 00 and he called i was shocked....wow soo yea he sed he might try to call again today we'll see i work at 5 till 9 but im goin to laurens house at 12 should be funn i haven't seen her inawhile and we always say were gonna hang out more n we never do...

guys r soo annoyin i think i like this guy but he has a gf who he likes a lot n i really wanna tell him but i dun wanna freak him out n i've liked him for awhile and its just annoyin and i think i would have a chance if he didn't have this gf!!!!! soo freakin annoyin oh well everyone keeps tellin me to tell him? i dunno if i should or not...i will figure sumthin out...i always do...

sunday i leave again for marthas vineyard kat is comin with me! ha should be funn...i hope she'll like it there i love it there i've been there like 4 times maybe soo funn sucks i just got back n im leavin again oh well

well im gonna go... later!

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 16:33:59 GMT

hello there...yea im really bored! im supposed to be goin to vanessa's house soon i think....guess were gonna go swimming! oh yea i have a car now woo hoo im free he he...my dad bought new one and is giving me his for 500 bucks which is a pretty good deal...only thing that sucks is now i have to pay for gas but oh well

so lets see what have i been doing lately...well monday i cleaned out my car cuz it was gross and it needed to be cleaned...tuesyday i worked 11-3 then went to franks house to get zach for the movies, but we didn't end up goin at that time so i was at franks for awhile then went to filenes to meet my mom to get some stuff for myrtle beach then ate dinner n went to the movies with sean n frank n zach at 7 45 we saw war of the worlds pretty awsome movie except i hated the ending too happy i dunno but i won't say n e th ing unless someone wants to see it ha ha...then yesterday i went to Mill's house ha it was fun i like hangin out with her shes funny we went to her dads house to go swimmin it was fun then i picked up zach n kolton in bethel and then we all went mini golfin it was a bunch of random ppl my sisters friends and then some of mine well my only friends were kat, n zach n i guess adam i dunno if hes my friend whatever but yeaa it was fun then we went to 3 brothers n ate cuz i didn't eat dinner ha ha it was fun...

its sad i like never hang out with kat n e more cuz me n her are always so busy with ppl n stuff i think the person i've seen most this summer is prolly zach which is nuts but oh well i leave on saturday!!!! for myrtle beach! wa hoo its gonna be awesome im soo lookin forward to it! i gotta pack tomorrow...so today is my last day of work for a lil while...cuz i have friday off then i leave sat. for a week so im lookin forward to it its gonna be soo fun i wanna meet ppl n stuff ha ha but i am gonna miss my friends here like yesterday i sed good bye to kat n zach cuz im not gonna see em' for a lil while oh well a break will be nice its only a week...

ok well i think i wrote enough like i always say no one reads this n e ways...so whatever i gotta get ready to go swimmin i will ttyl byee!

la la la

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 20:21:52 GMT

heyy sup? nothin here...i like how i write in this thing like im writing to someone when im not...i dun think n e one reads this but oh well...its fun to write when im bored! soo hmm last night sean n zach came over and we played man hunt n tom and laura came down to play too it was funn... i play man hunt a lot its pretty kool tho i guess..i'v ebeen seein sean a lot lately which has been really nice i miss hangin with him and we always say we r gonna hang out and we never do so im glad i've seen him like 3 or 4 times this summer.

jake is back from florida i think...and kat comes back on saturday but i dunno when im gonna see her cuz saturday i think im goin to the movies n dinner with zach n sean and whoever else. i think my family is goin to vermont tho...cuz they haven't been there in awhile but i have to work i think so i will stay home prolly. story of my life im always stayin home its fun tho i guess

zachs cuzn lauren leaves soon i wanna go say good bye to her...i started talkin to katie again online shes not doin as bad as everyone says i hate bein torn between friends cuz now i feel like if i talk to katie zach will get mad and i love them both and so i guess i will go on talkin to them both cuz i really have nothin to do with this whole thing

my mom comes home from work soon i think maureen is gonna come over n we r gonna go in my neighbors pool cuz they left it to us for like 2 weeks while they r away! should be fun

i leave for myrtle beach soon! i can't wait its gonna be sooo freakin funn! i love the beach life ha ha im such a beach bum...and i really wanna see my family plus im goin to a wedding n i love those too!

i actually started my hw! woo hoo i feel soo much better after i start sumthin i finished one packet i have one more left then i have to read a book and do a report but the report will be easy i think...woo hoo for ap geo! sike

well i wrote a lot as i usually do when i update cuz i have NO LIFE sike...well im gonna bounce ha ha byee!

why hello there..

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 15:07:40 GMT

soo im really bored so i decided to updat...so yesterday was fun i went out with debbi for a lil while shes too afriad to check her work sched. by herself ha ha so she picked me up n we went...it was fun we also went to mc donalds and to the fun factory ha ha we r such dorks but it was kool.

then last night i was at zachs, sean came over too i ate dinner there and we played man hunt! and then we went to dhs and played tag and then we just did a relay race thing it was fun...but imsoo tired and sore today its really sad!

today i work from 12-5 thenim goin to seans house for some party thing then im goin to zachs to hang with his sis i think i dunno well thats all for now ttyl byee

hmm

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 15:45:15 GMT

well hello there! whats up? nothin much here...i just woke up n its like 11 30 ha ha thats sad i kno...and i had to call zachs cuz his sis wants me to come over like now but im gonna go later cuz i have no car n i dun feel like biking cuz its raining out. i've been spending a lot of time over there its been fun i guess...his house isn't as creepy as i thought it was. i think i'v been there like everyday this week and his sis megan is just like omg come back tomorrow soo yeaa...i will go back tonite for man hunt!

so theres a lot of drama happening this week...im not gonna totally get into it cuz it gives me a headache and i dun really kno the whole story but sumthin happened between katie n zach and katie was really mean when he was really upset and that shocked me so im just taking a break from katie for a lil while cuz i didn't kno she could be that mean...and i need to think abt some stuff like the way she treats ppl. on the other hand i dun think zach is ever talkin to her again but i think he has every right to be mad at her so oh well.

on a lighter note i may be gettin switched at work to the pharmacy werd! cuz adam is leaving i think so they want the grl thats in the pharmacy in the customer service desk then they need someone in the pharmacy and they were thinkin of me! so thats kool cuz im gettin sick of bein a cashier so i hope it happens!

im soo tired ughh...i biked to zachs house yesterday and im just really tired from playin man hunt n everything hmmm well im gonna go find somethin to eat ttyl! byee...

all i can taste is champagne

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:41:03 GMT

yea soo werd up...ha ha im really bored and kat wanted me to up date soo yea shes prolly the only one who ever reads this even tho i found out u kno who...ha ha has a live journal too soo yea...man i need to stop liking him its ridiculous altho he makes me happy so its all good i guess...apparently i can't be serious hmmm weird?!

so like a week left of skool kinda cuz i dun go in on the last day! woo hoo i love mr. fernandes! yea...kinda sad tho gonnabe a senior next yr! crazy man so i got my sched. fixed i now dun have to come in for 1st period oh yea werd ha ha sike wow i say that way too much...

well nothin really much happened this week oh yea! how can i forget chris came over monday it was great...yea hes afraid of the rain ha ha what a loser but yea i still love him yea...sooo what else happened this week...oh yea kats house yesterday was fun he he we played in the sprinkler ha ha good times man

so katie n zach mite go out...a lil weird im not gonna lie i mean its zach...i dun like him n e more but its zach i'd rather she find someone else but oh well what can i do...i dun wanna like say no u can't cuz he likes her and he deserves it but she always changes her mind i dun want him to get hurt hes like my best friend ha ha...soo yea well im gg i will ttyl bye

bored to death

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 02:31:04 GMT

yea so hey...whats up? im sittin here bored to death haha hence the sunject...its like 10 23 i got off work at 9 today was pretty boring i went to the library this mornin to get my book for ap geo and then i went to borders for no reason and then i went to subway for lunch then home and read outside...then layed outside yea i have noo life! then i went to work at 4 it wasn't so bad for the first half u kno who was there ha ha and we talked a lil i got my sched. for next yr...its not bad except i have no first per. which is odd i have like 4 classes with kat nothin with katie a few classes with vanessa iguess...and then i have lunch with chris so its all good...im sad i won't see katie next yr like in class cuz i saw her soo much this yr and shes one of my really good friends. i prolly won't see zach and frank next yr either which is sad...they r kool kids and zach islike my best friend ha ha yea i have nooo life im soo bored and i dunno what to write

i keep thinkin abt wheather or not to tell u kno who i like him...i dunno it could really mess up our friendship like he might feel weird around me and i dun want like everyone knowin abt it and he has a gf and i dun want her gettin all pissed i dunno too much to handle right now i think i will get thru finals and all that then think abt tellin him but seriously does he live in a bubble? ha ha i love katie for sayin that it was soo funny....

so tomorrow i work too woo hoo story of my life! work work work...wel i dun work on monday tuesday or friday this week so its all good...and i work 3-7 on wed. and thurs. so whatever 3-7 is great it goes soo fast i was soo tired today workin 4-9 lol fallin asleep at my register ughh i have to clean the kitchen floor tonite cuz our house is goin up for sale tomorrow...this sucks i dun wanna sell my house but w/e i will be moving out soon n e ways for college....wow college geez...

its 10 30 and i really need to start workin so im gonna bounce i will ttyl ha ha bounch syke wow i need to stop sayin syke its realy contagious well ttyl bye

hmm

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 01:15:44 GMT

so yea its been a really long time since i've written in here...i've been soo busy with work and what not. so lemme try n fill u in..hmm i went to florida for spring break that was fun i went out with zach in like feb...interesting ha ha lots of drama but thats how it always is atleast with him thats what i notice...yea and then we had the play last month that was soo awesome omg great show i had soo much fun...and now im just workin and skool is almost over.

so i like someone new...but i will not put their name on here cuz i dun want them to kno even tho they prolly dun use this but yea if u kno me u prolly kno who i am talkin abt. yea kool kid too bad he is involved with someone so yea that bites life is just un fair ha ha but i talk to him a lot i guess which is good...i dunno what to say abt that

my face is really itchy i dunno why!!!!!! ahh im like gettin a rash ha ha cuz u all need to kno that...so skool is almost over woo hoo i can't wait partayyy sike more like work and volunteering and hw! cuz i have some for AP geo...but its not bad...and im goin on vacation twice my boss is gonna kill me ha ha...oh well thank god for the union!

so i worked today but it was really boring cuz chris wasn't workin soo sad...hes the only one that talks everyone else just stands there. i worked next to this guy dan he was alright very quiet tho and i forgot to get my check! im soo dumbi knew i forgot sumthin...

so tomorrow im goin to the movies with lauren i think i dunno i haven't talked to her actually so i think we r goin to see sisterhood of traveling pants woo hoo it looks good i read the book so im all excited! yea...my face is soo itchy dunno whats wrong with me! and damn i am writing a lot abt nothin and no one is gonna read this! but i haven't written in soo long so oh well...well i think i will go catch ya later bye

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 22:24:07 GMT

hello there....haven't written in here in like decades lol not really more like a week but yea...so a lot has happened. i told u kno who i like him...hes eyein another grl now soo yea...the snow ball was fun...well i thought it was some didn't...losers just kidding i danced a lot. then sunday some guy at work told me he likes me weirdness...i dun like him so yea i hope he gets the hint? i've been talkin to zach a lot lately hes helpin me with my problems lol apparently i have them...i do i admot that a lot of them have to do with norman actually which is weird...hes sweet...lol great friend yea...so now im listeninto music "u gave me the best mixed tape i've had" soo yea...im a dork what more can i say...i dunno who i like now im soo confused....work was fun yesterday i was talkinto this guy chris who watches the OC i've seen him around skool i think he liked vanessa...he has a gf lol hes one of thsoe punks but hes nice enough....never met a guy that watches the OC...yea well i basically got u caught up...ttyl bye!

why hello there

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 18:46:02 GMT

yea soo snow day! woo hoo...yea this this great i just ate breakfast a lil while ago and its like 1 00 he he i slept in till 10 30 so yea...ummm i watched brother bear this mornin it was really good i love tivo he he...i also watched the episode of real world i missed last night...finally one tree hill cam eback on great show payton left with jake...i like jake yea...i need a life! i dunno what to write in here. tonight im goin ou to dinner then gettin my dad a bday present!....i have to go shovel the driveway soon! not fun but someones gotta do it...we have a half day tomorrow and i have to go to work! 3-7 but i get paid tomorrow then i can finally buy a cell phone cuz im like the only one on the planet without one...work is good its gets boring but oh well money is money...i still have really bad wind burn from sledding ughh not fair! but yea.........wow im soo bored woooo well i guess i will be goin now i will ttyl bye!

hello peeps

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 23:54:29 GMT

yea soo this weekend was fun! hangin with the homies as kat says! lol...went to teh movies friday mornin lol yes mornin no one there! twas fun with jake and ashley drivin me and katie there ha ha "i wish that i had jesse's girl" he he ashley is such a dork. oh yea we went to arby's! i got the kids meal he he....yea....i was starvin wow im like talkin abt nothin! yea so then friday nigh ti went bowlin ha ha duck pin that place hasn't changed a bit! it was fun i won the first game...then jake and kat came over! fun fun fun we played life he he and pac man...yea and then today(sunday) i went sledding with jake katie and kat...where was ashley? her idea we were all soo tired well not jake but yea...i was hungry again hehe and it was fun tho i saw brian and ppl we walked to the 14th hole soo far! i dunno why we couldn't just go in the front! katie wore sneakers he he and my mom gave her socks but jake was sweet and gave her his books yea...well im gg ttyl bye

blah

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 00:38:18 GMT

yea im sittin here...its like 7 30..im gonna watch aladdin at 8...i IMed u kno who if u ppl kno who im talkin abt if not oh well...if it wasn't snowin out i;d be at snowball now pretty mad abt that oh well...im supposed to go sledding tomorrow should be fun! only i have no snow pants ha ha...yea im soo bored dunno what to say! today was soo boring i hate the snow! i did but a wallet today needed that cuz im gettin my liscense next month hopefully and yea....so thats abt it for now i will catch ya later bye